Where there's smoke.

"Attention teachers: please disregard the fire alarm. We are testing the alarm system."

I thought the alarm would go of for a second or two, then stop. I thought this might be a recurring theme throughout the morning. I knew it would be disruptive, but let's be honest-- it's the first day back at school after a 3 day weekend, with 18 days of school left. How much is there to disrupt?

The alarm went off, and my students were actually relatively calm. They had heard the announcement, too, and for some reason decided they'd be chill today. But then the alarm kept going off. And it kept going off. 15 minutes later, the fire alarm was still going off. It was still a test. Nobody left their classrooms, much less the building.

Later, I went downstairs to pick my kids up for lunch, and the entire first floor of our building was filled with smoke. It seemed to be coming from the cafeteria, but I coughed all the way down the hallway. I'm talking THICK smoke. And yet, somehow, the smoke detectors that had been so meticulously tested managed to not go off. Amazing.

As a side note--

We're doing an astronomy unit in science right now. Today, we learned about constellations. As an extension, I had my students choose a constellation that reminded them of an animal or ojbect and then write a myth about how the constellation ended up in the sky. One of my students wasn't paying attention while I explained the assignment, she just saw "Your Constellation: __________________" on the handout. I overheard her flipping out because she couldn't find "her" constellation (Sagitarius) on the map. An excellent example of when a little knowledge is more dangerous than no knowledge.

Ms. Jenkins was the nicest teacher!

We had a 3 hour assembly this morning, which meant my kids had lunch at noon instead of eleven. It also meant that they were eating with the second graders. I taught first grade last year, and this provided me with a rare opportunity to see my students from last year (when I was teaching first grade).

The conversation went something like this:

Student 1: Ms. Jenkins was the nicest teacher! She gave us gum in first grade, and we had to make this big brain with it.

Student 2: Yeah, that thing was gross!

Student 1: But it was fun, though. I liked Ms. Jenkins.

Me: That was the FIRST DAY of school last year! How do you remember that?

Student 1: I don't know. I remember everything.

The same student brought me a Christmas card last year that said, "Dear Ms. Jenkins, you are nice in the mornings." Only the mornings. And it wasn't a mistake (I asked her about it).

It's funny what kids remember and what they forget. Praise God that they remember fun things and that I really did love them-- not that I yelled a lot and was almost always on the verge of tears.

"Ms. Jenkins, I hate that baby."

Sometimes, it's really difficult to know if a child is being absolutely transparent or perfectly manipulative.

One of my students had a hard time focusing today-- she was off task, (loudly) playful, and disrespectful on several occasions. This isn't entirely unusual for her. She also struggles with her work, and becomes frustrated easily. The academic frustration, paired with adolescence, can become a behavior issue.

But at the end of the day, she walked over to my desk and announced, "Ms. Jenkins, I hate that baby." She then proceeded to tell me all about her new baby brother. She told me about how he cries all the time, and about how she has given him the nickname "Stinky Poo Butt" because his poos so much. She told me about how he keeps her awake at night, and how her mom just wants to sleep all of the time. She told me about how she can't go anywhere because she has to help take care of the baby, since her mom runs her own business. She told me about sleeping at her Aunt's house, which is overcrowded, because it's the only place where she can actually GET sleep. She also explained to me that none of her other relatives live in South Philly, although if you'd like to know where they DO live- I got that information, too.

It was clearly the cry of an adolescent only-child-turned-big-sister wanting (needing?) some adult attention. But as she wrapped up her complaint session, she told me, "But I don't like it when other people touch him. Only I can hold him," and gave me a list of people she no longer likes because they tried to touch or hold her baby brother. She complains about "the baby," but she secretly loves him.

It's easy to laugh and say, "Oh, kids . . ." but I think I'm just as inconsistent; the people I love the most are also the people that drive me craziest. And at the end of the day, I think we'd all like a little extra attention.

Blast from the past

Favorite quotes from previous days (copied from my facebook page)

"We do not need an economic stimulus package. What we need is Barack Obama."--Moosaa, the most brilliant 6th grader ever, in a letter to Barack Obama.

"Ms. Jenkins, this says, 'social classes still affect us today.' Is that like credit scores?"-- Tajah, after reading about colonial America

"Loquacious? That sounds like a ghetto name. I'm going to start calling Quairra loquacious 'cause she talks too much." -- Airama

"Ms. Jenkins, if we have desegregation, why aren't there any white kids at OUR school?"-- Kia'Jah, 7.

Things grown-ups do

1. Look at a million apartments, most of which are inaccurately described in their craigslist ads, and ask all of the appropriate questions (thanks, Angela, for pointing most of these out to me!).

2. Set mouse traps by themselves, without asking anyone else for help. Implied: not freak out after seeing not just one, but TWO mice in the living room in broad daylight.

3. Deal with car insurance claims representatives and the entire staff at Enterprise rent-a-car (they really will pick you up), sans parents, after a car accident.

4. Pay bills.

5. Go to work.

BUT I also get to stay out as late as I want (which means I'm usually in bed before 11), eat dessert before dinner, take road trips to Boston at the last minute, and live in a really cool city that is NOT where my parents choose to reside.

Do the pros outweigh the cons? Maybe . . .

Are you having a baby?

My friend and co-teacher, Matt, called out sick today. So did approximately 15 other teachers at my school today. This means, fabulously enough, that I got to babysit extra students, including a few of Matt's kids.

This was fine- it was a Monday/Friday (the first day back from a weekend, but also the day before a day off, since our kids don't have school tomorrow), so everyone was a little "hype," but I expected that.

Then, at the end of the day, I went to stand next to one of Matt's students, checking his work. He responded by gently rubbing my stomach. Yes, my stomach. Weird, right? It gets better. When I asked him to stop, he looked up at me, innocently, and said, "Ms. Jenkins, are you having a baby?"

I am NOT having a baby. When I told him this, he began rubbing my legs. The explanation for this? "I can tell by rubbing people's legs if they're having a baby or not."

This started a lovely conversation-- kids wanting to know why I'm not having a baby yet. Who the father would be if I were to have a baby (this one I ended VERY quickly). A few kids said I sometimes rub my stomach. Another suggested that a pregnancy could cause mood swings.

Teaching has definitely taught me to laugh at myself-- I'm not fat, I don't look fat, and I don't have mood swings. Kids are kids, and they talk about things. I'm just along for the ride . . .

The twilight zone

It's 8:01 AM, by my clock. 8:05 by my school clock (set to official school time). Teachers are required to be here by 8:00. Students are allowed upstairs at 8:00 on Monday and Tuesday mornings.

And yet . . . I am the only person on the entire floor. The only teacher in her classroom. The hallways are silent; there is a noted absence of students running and yelling down the hallways.

Was there a memo that I missed? The memo where the told us we wouldn't be having school today, after all? Or is there a secret staff meeting being held downstairs, one I wasn't told about? Who knows . . . but what a weird way to begin the week!

Also of note--

I wrecked my car last night. :( Brad said in the sermon yesterday that there is no need to test God-- if you're following Him, crazy things will happen. He will provide plenty of opportunities to show you that He takes care of you. Maybe this is an example of that.

It certainly was an opportunity to confirm that I made the right decision about teaching again next year. When I had the accident, I was actually on my way to my new principal's house to pick up a book. He came to meet me, and then drove me to the body shop (where I picked up a rental car). Overall, we probably spent about an hour and a half of quality time together. Definitely someone I am excited to work for and with next year.